Mankind's Fascination with Self-Expression

I see all these amazing photos from other blogs I would read. Then they began to say they were made with toy cameras. Oh I wanted one then. I like to take pictures(not often), but when I do I would like them to look like that. So I asked for it for my birthday... my family had no clue what it was. So I didn't get it. Since I asked for it again for Christmas, my mom got a little curious and bought it for me. Now I have it and been waitng for good weather to go out and explore with it.

Now that it is get warmer I know I will want to go out and take some pictures. Now I'm afarid. I don't know what to do. I figure I'm gonna have to load it like a 35mm camera. My main concern was that I bought it from online. So can I get these developed local or will I have to ship it somewhere? Same with buying more film? Yes I have a CD but I just don't think it can answer those questions. Just on how to work the camera. Does anyone know? Please let me know..... :(

My last Poetry and Art piece doesn't look great. It bugs me. My mom looked at it and read the poem and she was like "That's depressing, who wrote that?" I didn't see the poem as depression but it might be. I've been so out of practice with art, that my color theory sucks! I have a hard time with dark colors and to start off that way wasn't a good idea I guess. This piece has alot of neutrals but with some bright colors.  I'm taking it slow with it, since I want time to look and think over it before placing it together. Also because I have been working hard on my health and my other blog, http://balanceisthekeytohealth.blogspot.com/.

The hardest thing about this pieces is incorporating so many words in a readble fashion. Last time I just painted it as it would be written on a piece of paper and I think that is what made the piece even more weak. Now I'm thinking long and hard how I am incorpoarting it this time. Here is what I have so far...

Ok I have had many issues I have shared with you on this blog. The thing is they aren't about the arts and literature at all. Both are in my life but as they are separate, they need separte blog spaces. So I welcome you to visit my new blog, Balance is the Key to Health http://balanceisthekeytohealth.blogspot.com/. There will be most of my stresses in life and my journey in my weight loss.

This blog will now be about what it was truthfully meant to be about. I have started a new piece of art last night and hope to finish it tonight. I will post it very soon. Also I'm doing very bad at reading a book a week. I need to pull one out and begin on it so I can do some more book reviews. I'm pretty crappy at them and need more practice.

My laptop will die shortly so I have to go, I will update soon besides the V-Day Challenge...(only 8 days left, yes!)

Ok I am done! Done with it! I've had weight issues for most of my life. Lately it affected my health.... but didn't take action because I didn't have the money to. Now I've gain a little more weight and I feel fat. Like I feel that my fat rolls are making me feel uncomfortable and feel tight. Ok those daily little things now just make me sick. It doesn't help when an embarrassing picture of me showcasing my fat was on facebook this past week. I tried to ride a mechanical bull.... but I had an issue getting on it. Already tried twice and failed, I stopped and let someone else go for me. But someone had taken a picture of me failing at getting on with my butt and thighs straight shot failing at it. It made me sick to see it. It took a few days but I finally convinced them to take it off. That's what I get for trying something new and being courageous. But what a way to encourage me I can't start soon enough on my health. So that day is today!

So I know this is my blog about arts and literature... but lately it has been about myself. Not the books I've read, art I have created, or the cultural events I have attended. But the thing is I'm having to think so much about myself, to change myself or better said.. improving myself. I'm trying to make a better lifestyle change but still incorporating my love for arts and literature. I still want to create more collages and read the books that are waiting on my shelf... my health needs to be the first thing then relax with the others.

I'm kinda glad I'm not on this road alone. Kara a Pi Phi sister of mine is also blogging and changing her health. Her blog is here: http://theheavyhipster.wordpress.com/. We have different ways to reach our health goals, like she is vegan (I so could not do that) but knowing someone else is facing the same issues as me gives you a support system. Also I was SO SO SO glad that my work at the daycare is starting a Biggest Loser competition lasting 12 weeks starting Feb 28th. I'm not the only one there with weight and health issues. Others are discovering their blood sugar is effecting their health or other things. For the years I have worked there we have complained but still have enabled each other with our bad lifestyle choices. My daycare is part of the YMCA we should be healthy individuals... but we aren't. So this being started there will make others see the changes we make effect our lives. So I better see no more enablers and chocolate in cabinets. I'm glad that there will be such a good support system there now, even when I won't be working there often once I begin to sub in the school system.

Now how am I going to make these changes in my life? I had issues because of money but I should get a pay check soon to help buy healthy groceries. Until then I should have enough in our house to get by. I do like the Biggest Loser show and how they lose weight. You count calories and all the other items you put in your body and you burn more calories than you consume. Everything we do burns calories... even sitting down at this computer. Obviously its not much. Mostly just what your body burn while sitting... I just need to keep track of what goes in my body and increase my body movement a lot everyday.

Here is my plan:
My Daily Intake needs to be in these ranges.
Calories.... 1400-1800
Carbs.... 210-270g
Fiber.... 22+g
Protein.... 53-113g
Fat.... 31-60g
Sodium.... <3000mg
Drink 8 glasses of water a day

Then I need to burn 200 calories a day by doing one of the following for example:

• Biking casually for 20 mins
• Bowling for 40mins
• Dancing for 25mins
• Golfing and carrying clubs for 20mins
• Golfing at the driving range for 40 mins
• Running at 5mph for 15mins
• Running at 7mph for 10 mins
• Ice or roller skating for 20mins
• Tennis for 20 mins
• Bar tending for 45mins
• Playing with kids for 30mins
• Vacuuming for 25mins

I found this site which is really great at telling you daily activities of others about how long it will take you to do daily activities. http://www.healthassist.net/calories/ Thanks Stumble! I also enjoy Wii Fit, DDR and Just Dance so some days may include a lot of wii games. DDR is such a cardio work out. I have dripped sweat before trying to beat a certain song at a certain level... just because it is a video game doesn't mean you sit and do nothing.

Today I plan to play 30 minutes of wii fit and 30-60mins of DDR. Also when I look in my kitchen it seems my meals will probably be egg whites, oranges, tomato soup, rice, almonds, frozen veggies, potatoes, onions, and red wine until I get that paycheck. Time to get creative. Also don't hate on the red wine. I don't care for it but if I have a good day I am going to treat myself with it since a glass of it a day is know to have positive effects on your health.

So here is me wishing myself good luck with this lifestyle change and to stick with it for life.

When cleaning out a closet a few months ago I found a small old trunk. Inside was all the poems and such my great aunt (my sister thinks great grandmother) wrote. She had a childrens book I read when I was younger and I always remember how I was amazed at her. I have no memory of meeting her and I don't know what she looks like but I know her from the creative side of her she left behind. I can she her thoughts and beliefs from her poems... like I know she was a strong christian. I just hope one day maybe a relative in the future will know me by my art left.

When I found the trunk a few months ago, first thing I did was move it into our craft room under my desk. Those were getting no love in the back of the closet. I wanted to incorporate her poems into some of my artwork. The other day determined to get back into making some art, I pulled out her poems and started sketching visuals for different poems. And that night I got started on the first one I found. I just finished it.

Yes I am participating in a Boycott V-Day Challenge. I don't hate Valentines day... I hate the way that people treat this day. And I have to say my fellow women are the main to blame. To me the thought and meaning is what matters. But some women tend to think the amount of love they have is measured by the cost, amount, or size of certain things. So of course flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals, and the drumroll....... jewelry! Dude love is a simple yet complex thing, you don't need to make it any more confusing.

I don't have a man in my life right now. But I still just love the simple things. I have received one piece of jewelry and it was a complete surprise... it was because he wanted to, not because I wanted him to. Big difference. I am happy with simple joys.... just like thought to go into them. The thought always shows that you care, not a box of chocolates. I rather have a nice engraved silver band as a engagement ring. I don't need any stone to have him show how much he loves me.

So if today you are spending time with loved ones doing things you love.... then great! But if your sitting at home pissed because your man ordered lilys and not red roses... then you have issues. Relearn what love is.... your the ones I think about when this day comes around with all the commericals of chocolates and jewelry.

About two weeks ago I began blogging again. When I did, my life had changed and I am now on the path to get it back in order. You can check it out here http://sfaesyartwork.blogspot.com/2011/01/good-bye-january-good-riddance.html.

What did I accomplish in two weeks, then? Well I somewhat know what I am doing for work. Well I am a substitute teacher. My old work, YMCA daycare asked if I would like to sub on days when people miss, which is good because I would miss all those kids too much. My real job once my federal background check comes back is substituting for the local school system. I am really excited about this because I can get a lot better classroom experience this way. I am hoping this will start in the coming weeks. I like this but at the same time it's not good. Everyday I don't know if I will be working or not, my schedule will be unpredictable. But at the same time if I need to help out family or to have fun during the week all I can say is I can't work that day. My family still wants me to look for other job opportunities that will be full-time, have benefits, and better pay. I understand it would make some things easier but others harder, like if I went back to school.

I did apply to many places and the places I called back were early childhood learning centers. Well that's where all my experience is and also I had a few offers I turned down. So it made me feel good because these places saw that I know about children well and know how to work with them. I also felt very confident going into those interviews because I knew exactly what the job offered. No nerves like I did years ago at my last job interviews. Also I learned things about job applications, resumes, cover letters, and references. I made mistakes in the process and my family didn't like it, but it was a learning experience. I haven't done that much applying to jobs... probably almost ever. I've held some long-term positions for someone my age.

Well until I can really work and then get those paychecks... the bank account is tight. My dad is an accountant and he is helping with my bills for now and my mom is also helping here and there. I am really thankful for their help. I have a good credit score and just because I'm in a rut I don't want it to drop. I will need it if I have to get a car in the near future.

Now my health??? Well I haven't done a thing with it. Now I know I am still employed with the YMCA I can go for free, but I really don't like working out there. It's far from home and I don't like working out in front of guys. Also I was going to join weight watchers with my sister. Well she has kinda fallen from that wagon and I don't have the money still for the weekly meetings. Plus, I do better with dieting if I go and buy my own foods and cook them. Lack of money means I have to leave that to my mom and it doesn't work that well for me. So real soon I hope to really get a kick start on it.

Staying on top of reading blogs makes me really want to get back into the creative side. I keep getting ideas her and there, but I forget them. I was always such a terrible sketcher to keep track of ideas too. I always just wanted to jump  right in. So as I get ideas I want to do those and forget the rest.... yep I need to work on sketching those ideas done. And also completing projects. Maybe I will do that soon.



Yeah I have issues with my weight and health.



Ok so new years was a bust for me this year and I am a huge fan of asian culture. Hello?! My bathroom and bedroom are decorated asian culture decorations. One of my favorite things in asian culture is the dragon. It also probably doesn't help that I was born in the year of the dragon..... which I think is pretty sweet! So Chinese New Year is my new year this year and I am going to make a list of goals to reach in the rest of this year. But lets check out my Dragon horoscope for the year and the day.

Okay I learned back when I was on the yearbook staff in school that taking pictures in gyms is hard because it has a funky lighting, plus it's all action shots. I learned this past weekend that roller derby qualifies the same way. This was my first roller derby match and I loved it. I just wished they were closer to home. An hour drive isn't very nice, especially when you want to go out after. One of the girls on the Derby City team is a Pi Phi sister of my actual sister. We went to go cheer her on, just to find out this as the first time she couldn't play due to an injury. Ohhh... welll. It was still really great. I plan on making more trips to see them and also make sure Whip It is the next movie on my Netflix Queue.

Well here are some pictures we took. They are pretty bad because of the flash and lighting in the building. Or because we didn't use flash so better color but the pictures are funky. I putting them on here cuz they still look pretty cool.